The Magic of Mr. Meeseeks
“Attention all students.”
voice of Principle Vagina came through the intercom.
“At noon there will be a mandatory assembly in the gymnasium.”
I was standing at my locker, putting some books in it. I closed my backpack and turned around. An assembly? What could that be about? Suddenly I saw something blue move from the corner of my eye and when I looked up, I saw this weird creature walking next to Summer. Immediately I understood. This probably had something to do with her grandfather Rick again. If some crazy alien was in the school, it wasn’t by accident. Well, fine by me. I would be in math with Mr. Goldenfold at noon, so any excuse not to look at his moobs was great. I decided to follow Summer and the alien, so I closed my locker and went off to the gym.
a great friiiiend and a beautiful giiiirl, Summer!” the creature squeaked, it’s
hand on her back. It was completely blue, except for a tuft of orange hair on
the top of its head and I noticed it had no fingers.
“Why, thank you, mister Meeseeks.” Summer giggled.
What kind of name was that? ‘Mister Meeseeks’. It sounded like the name of someone’s cat or something. What would this alien race be called anyway if this one was called ‘Meeseeks’?
I entered the gym behind some other kids and I saw that there was a huge white banner with green letters spelling ‘Summer 4 ever’ above the seats, but it wasn’t clear who had put it up there, when or even why. I decided not to think about it too much and sat down on the front row of the bleachers. This way I could leave as soon as this assembly was finished.
Nothing surprised me anymore when it came to the Smiths, so I was prepared for about anything. Principle Vagina was standing next to the microphone, fidgeting a bit, his back to me. The stands started filling up with people and soon enough the whole school seemed to be present.
Meeseeks, look at meee!”
The murmur quieted down and the creature started talking with his annoying squeaky voice.
“I’m here to tell you why you should aaaaall become very good friends with Summer Smiiiith.” I looked around. To my surprise everyone was now looking with rapt attention and glazy smiles at Mister Meeseeks. Suddenly my mind went totally blank and I felt my mouth twist up in a passive smile as well. I felt at peace, ready to believe every single wonderful word about Summer. Summer was indeed an amazing girl and a wonderful person, I so wanted to be her friend! Time must have passed without me noticing, because the next thing I heard was Mister Meeseeks saying:
conclusion; a friendship with Summer Smith is the most valuably and enriching
experience of your young lives. I’m Mr. Meeseeks, look at meee. Thank you.”
Immediately Tammy Gutermann and some other people ran up to Summer, patting her back, but Principle Vagina walked to Mr. Meeseeks. I couldn’t move a muscle, I felt my body still being rigid and that crazy smile still in place. What kind of magic was this? It didn’t matter, I knew Mr. Meeseeks was right, Summer was amazing. I really, really wanted to be friends with her! It was not as if we weren’t a bit friendly already of course, we shared some classes and sat at the same table at lunch every now and then.
“Mr. Meeseeks, was it? Gene Vagina.” Principle Vagina said very quickly. “Listen, I’m a bit of a custody-thing with my ex and I was wondering…” At that exact moment Mr. Meeseeks disappeared in a small puff of smoke. “I’ll… I’ll get your info from Summer.” Principle Vagina said. Up until then I had been unable to move even an inch, but I unfroze. What the hell had just happened? I shook my head, untangling my unnatural smile and looked around. Summer was still standing in a crowd, beaming around, while Principle Vagina looked sheepish. I sighed. It was definitely time to go, before I would start to make a fool of myself like the 100 or so people crowding around Summer. I’d talk to her tomorrow though, that much I knew. The guy next to me drifted over to the crowd, but I left the gymnasium, still feeling a little dazed and with nothing but Summer Smith on my mind.